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Summit
You perch upon your godforsacken summit
and watch as they teeter on theirs
extend solace, draw them to your boundary
They look back from theirs
near enough to speak;
self - sufficiency holds them where they are
Swim to shore and return to normality.
connect to the world
be one with reality.
Editing stage:
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Comments
lou
Mon, 2011-08-22 16:42
Hi
Thanks I'll take a look.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
scribbler
Mon, 2011-08-22 21:21
hi lou
pictured 2 gurus sitting on seperate mountain tops yelling at each other. enjoyed reading (rose already spotted the misspells lol).............stan
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-08-24 09:33
Hey Lou,
Swim to shore and return to normality.
connect to the world
be one with reality.
I had the same mental picture in my head as Stan, LOL!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
lou
Wed, 2011-08-24 10:33
Hey Cat and Stan
I can see why yu would think that, but the poem about how we are basically alone, but sometimes we want to reach out.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-08-26 05:41
"No man is an island"?
The last line sounds like orders, which I, and most poets don't respond to well!
But well written, good concept, and great to see you diversifying.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lou
Fri, 2011-08-26 07:52
Jess
That is obviously your perception of the last line, but I had no intention of giving orders.
Glad you liked it.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
weirdelf
Sun, 2011-08-28 00:07
Yes, it is my prejudice.
But don't ignore the subtext. I see these things.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lou
Fri, 2011-08-26 08:58
Jess
Each person has a right to their own perception
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
weirdelf
Sun, 2011-08-28 00:08
double post
sorry
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lou
Fri, 2011-08-26 10:09
Jess
. Thanks for commenting
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!