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Anguish
Anguish
Drained,
the humiliation of living.
The anguish of breathing.
Feeling every solitary second,
desolate inconsolable.
Jealousy and rage eviscerating.
Body racked with pain,
anger seething.
Tolerating existence,
Heart receading.
Check out, Cash in,
vacate this world.
Forsake this planet,
embrace oblivion.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Tue, 2012-02-21 11:19
Dear Lou,
The title fits. Language use is appropriate. flows well from one line to the next. I identify... Good ending:
Check out, Cash in,
vacate this world.
Forsake this planet,
embrace oblivion.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
weirdelf
Thu, 2012-02-23 02:33
Lou, try writing some prose.
Your poetry often sounds like lists.
I understand your intent and meaning, but you could express it so much better.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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lou
Thu, 2012-02-23 04:36
thanks Jess
thanks
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!