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Spector
Spector of lost dreams rises
as she gazes at the stars in mute prayer
Virginal innocence undone
Begat from the loins of hades
Cursed, to roam this unholy earth
Soul seeker is given birth
Innocent child tainted blood
Coursing through his veins,
Murderous creature undone.
Metamorphosis into adulthood
On the cusp,
Innocence receding.
Lust broiling uncontained,
breeding the monster,
destined to be undone.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2011-06-29 18:34
Another...
good one! Only crit. here is I would leave off the ess on [rises]. Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lou
Wed, 2011-06-29 19:56
Gee
Thanks
Love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-06-29 18:35
Brrrrr. ~A
Brrrrr.
~A
lou
Wed, 2011-06-29 19:55
Anna
Another odd crit, what do you mean ?
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Wed, 2011-06-29 23:22
Chrys
Thank you very much, it is based on a character from a book I'm writing.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Thu, 2011-06-30 00:13
Chrys
Thank you very much.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!