She survived the states of her disorder
When most had been destroyed
Rooted in a comfort zone
She weeps but not for herself
Rather those hopelessly gone
To the clutches of familiarity
How could I not love all the seasons
All the years survived

Up the street a piece
I turn a bit and there she is
No longer sad
She is my Icon
Fighting a disease
That fights for her
So easy it would be
To give the parasites submission
Infecting herself to her end

Wiffle balls all blue, orange and
red ride bicycles on children with
blue striped skin tipping flipping juggling by
green square trash cans sinking on piles of
grassy playgrounds dying with
broken branches falling under
false illumination drifting touching slapping
electric fences like two prisons standing.
Wishing well water on hands
skillfully bounce balls while
tossing bodies bestow the
graceful expression of tearing
young crippled trees between here and
there without shade.

Quiet now...
in the wake
after such a tornado
of impassioned night,
of anger turned ingrown...
Her huge green eyes stare
(without) seeing,
forever on a fixed point.

I see the lost intelligence
fly away unfettered.
Once, she was a brilliant
tactician. Her downfall
was assuming sanity
where there was none!

An aching,
in the stirrings
of body and mind...
There it is
palpable!
Like the pounding in my chest.
the pain is fresh
newly born, in its infancy.
I am caught up
in the uneven rhythm
of a heart gone rigid
in the moment
of transformation
from abject torture
to smoking ash,
raining down gray
in the pitiless night...
All because she
laughed at me!
Her mirth has
poisoned my spirit...

(soon, she will learn...)

The white blanket
of the early morning mist
caressed the lake’s glassy surface,
muffling the lonely call
of a distant loon.

The rhythmic squeak-thump
of the oar locks and
the gentle splash of the blades
were the only other sounds
that broke the stillness.

The tangy scent of pine
mixed with the earthy smell
of decaying leaves
as the dock and shore
receded in the boat’s wake.

You lean against your car
As I stand in front of you

Eyes locked on eyes
It's time to say goodbye

"Goodnight" I whisper as
I turn to walk away

"Wait" you whisper back
As you walk towards me

I turn back around to see you
Standing there

You grab my arm
And pull me in for a hug

Soft and gentle
Your touch lingered on my arm
Letting me go as slowly as possible

Just like my dream...

still is the night
no sounds of rain
or soft landing flakes
not one tweeting bird
no bunnies dash with haste
i couldn’t hear a mouse
i couldn’t see my own face
in the stillness of the night

not one disturbance
with the exception of i
though i lay awake
resting in my own hide
a growing belly and a chest ever so tight
we must not disturb
the still of the night

It's forever the rainbow
But never the rain
Everyone adores joy
But everybody despises pain

The sun gets all the praise
The moon is deemed dark
Street lights are vibrant
The differences are stark

What I'm trying to say
If you haven't figured it out
All focus on happiness
As for me, I don't doubt

Without the darkness of night
We wouldn't appreciate the sun
We wouldn't know absence of sorrow
If we lived our lives having none

I ripped my heart from my chest
and it turned to ash in my hand.

Still standing,
still breathing,
I watched as the wind blew it away.

I'm damned to this earth,
forever.

Heartless, cold, worthless excuse for a human.
If I am even that anymore.

Nicotine yellow tin ceilings
dark cupboards, blue-white table top
I see them now, in my dreams
with the love that never stopped

Gran's kitchen shared with aunt Kitty
The smell of something sweet
swing music from the radio
the gentle tapping of her feet

My world was there, heart of the house
or in the dry grass of the yard
I have lunch on the porch with my sissy
she falls asleep; from playing too hard