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Darkness and Light
It's forever the rainbow
But never the rain
Everyone adores joy
But everybody despises pain
The sun gets all the praise
The moon is deemed dark
Street lights are vibrant
The differences are stark
What I'm trying to say
If you haven't figured it out
All focus on happiness
As for me, I don't doubt
Without the darkness of night
We wouldn't appreciate the sun
We wouldn't know absence of sorrow
If we lived our lives having none
We wouldn't appreciate rainbows
If the storm didn't come through first
For when the weather is most severe
We look for rainbows during the worst
When your heart is ready to burst
When life is harder than it should be
Remember, light comes after darkness
Likewise, joy is the absence of misery
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-12-12 19:20
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Darkness and Light" explores the contrast between happiness and pain, and the importance of experiencing both in order to fully appreciate the positive aspects of life. The use of imagery, such as rainbows and storms, effectively conveys this message.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider the structure of the poem. Currently, the poem is written in four-line stanzas, but the length of the lines varies. This inconsistency in line length can disrupt the flow and rhythm of the poem. To enhance the overall structure, you may want to consider using a consistent line length or experimenting with different stanza structures.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further development of its themes. While the contrast between darkness and light is explored, it would be interesting to delve deeper into the concept of pain and its role in personal growth or resilience. This could add more depth and complexity to the poem's message.
Overall, "Darkness and Light" presents a thought-provoking perspective on the inter
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Lavender
Wed, 2023-12-13 23:35
Darkness and Light
Hello, Shelby,
True - it all balances, the joy and pain, darkness and light. I'm wondering about using the word "pain" often. I realize it goes along with your tight rhyme, but it stands out a bit to me. I'm also a bit baffled by the final line - I believe I understand what you are saying, but the word "only" depletes the word "joy" somewhat. I sense that joy is amazingly bountiful - never associated with "only" anything. That may just be me, though. It sounds like your wisdom is from experience - there is a wonderful sincerity here.
Thank you!
L
Shelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-12-14 11:45
Lavender
Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions, I fixed that last line and I'm working on the issue with "pain." I'm really glad you enjoyed it!!!
Lavender
Fri, 2023-12-15 10:12
Hello, Shelby,
I really like what you've done! Very nice!
L
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-12-14 05:41
Dear Shelby,
I understand your theory and agree with it. I could not have said it any better.
*Hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Shelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-12-14 11:45
Candlewitch
Thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it!!!
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-12-16 07:17
I forgot to tell you...
I like these lines best:
We wouldn't appreciate rainbows
If the storm didn't come through first
For when the weather is most severe
We look for rainbows during the worst
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.