Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Untitled

Every time I have tried,
I get missed calls begging me why.
Tried to make my body bleed
"We are so glad you didn't succeed"
Well, where were you at the start
When I was tending my broken heart?

Last few words: 
Rough draft of a poem about yet another failed suicide attempt
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

let people see your broken heart? How is anyone to know, if you don't tell them? Sometimes it helps to let people know what's going on. I like your poem, just not the subject. You did a good job of showing the heartbreak of feeling alone. There is always someone out there to talk to. Don't be alone. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I have written another poem with that exact thought in mind, why don't I tell anyone? The last part of it is dedicated to your comment and my husband's frustration xx

author comment

I think you need to flesh out this poem, expand it and give more information to the reader. I think you have the basis for a much better poem!

* warm smiles, :) Cat

*

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

There is a pretty supportive and vibrant community here. My inbox is open if you need to drop a message when your feeling alone. I check in often and there’s nothing wrong with asking for help or talking. I’m glad you’re writing about it. That’s a healthy place to go with that energy.

Keep it up
Tim

for jumping in with the offer for dropping a message to your inbox. I am also here a lot; at least half-dozen times a times a day.~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I have an MHT, crisis, I've got people to nod and sympathise but I've struggled for 35 years with promises that life will get better and it hasn't, wait until we have a meeting, wait until this wait until they come off holiday no one can help and then when I do overdose they ask me why, well maybe if they had listened to me before the overdose they would have their answer but the calls are all diverted and they are only around when I want to make my way out

author comment

no! you are not beyond help! if you need someone who won't laugh or tell others what you said, please p.m. me. I will listen without judgement. I can just listen or give advice your choice! give me a try, Please?

*hugs, Cat

*

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I'm fine thankyou

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.