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THE SOUL FEEDER
I am a chef,
I cook the food
That everyone loves.
The food that change(s)
A body language.
The food that unveils
A path to destiny.
A chef that I am,
My food interprets
A language of the soul.
It's melodious,
With a Mysterious rhythm.
The aroma of sound,
Is what they perceive.
The delicacy for both spirits,
A feeder for living things
And none.
A music cooker that I am,
The feeder of souls.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This is about the people that has a real good talent of music, and their music always a good message across.
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Wed, 2018-01-31 13:15
Music and poetry feed our souls as food our body,
so true.
A slight correction
The food that change(s)
If I may offer a slight suggestion. The smell of food, the tone of a simple melody, a few important lines of poetry feed directly, bypassing other parts of the brain, directly into the hippocampus, the part of the brain directly linked to long term memory, which is why an aroma, a line of verse, or a snippet of melody can evoke whole areas of remembrance.
I am not suggesting you re-write the poem however a few lines could open a whole area of the poems meaning. Just a suggestion.
Beautifully written, thank you, Simon.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Simon
Mon, 2018-02-05 05:15
thank you jess
thank you for the suggestion I really appreciate.
Eumolpus
Mon, 2018-02-05 13:12
your poem
I agree with Jess. You are on to something great, connecting a chef and poetry as food- that what sustains us, and also that tastes (feels) good.
Whereas I am seeing the chef a poet in the first stanza's, the introduction of the word music, in music cooker, makes me think you might be a musician.
Words are the ingredients of our cuisine, and I might suggest to use some additional imagery and words...images have such influence on the brain. If I say 'chocolate octopus' the brain goes wild trying to sort that out. So i think you might consider describing some of those dishes you are preparing in the kitchen, or the writer's desk. That would be my take if you consider this to be a draft...
..
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Simon
Sat, 2018-02-17 09:39
Yes,
Soon and very soon I will dishe out to you my own cook then you can feel the taste of it. Thanks for your comment.
raj
Sat, 2018-02-17 13:26
Other than an opportunity to
Other than an opportunity to read this poem, i perceive that what is perhaps the heart of your poem is that you consider yourself to play a vital role in the world and make most of of what life has bestowed upon you. I do not know if that was the intent in between the lines. Anyways, "A Good Recipe Served" Simon.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Simon
Thu, 2018-02-22 05:15
Thanks.
raj I appreciate your comment a lot,only my poems can still serve as soul's food & besides that I will like to also showcase my talent as a singer too, thanks.