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Medusa Betrayed
Medusa Betrayed
a priestess was she
in Athena's holy domicile.
blessed with bloom of youth
and radiant smile.
so fair of face
and bodily grace,
untouched by human hand.
one fateful day
Poseidon did espy
with lustful eye,
Medusa strolling in the sand.
"I must have, can find no salve,
to placate this desire
or quench this fire"
he quoth, and swore an oath
"Medusa will be mine!"
so by dark of night
and celestial moonlight
he broke into the shrine.
he stole a kiss
from this innocent miss
who much to her shame
would take the blame
incurring Athena's wrath.
she struck Medusa down,
creating a crown
of serpents instead of hair.
then was Medusa exiled
to a western isle
to suffer her fate in a rocky lair!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I appreciate all suggestions. thanks in advance, Cat
Editing stage:
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Comments
jane210660
Thu, 2017-06-29 05:27
Very refreshing
to read a poem that isn't hidden in complicated imagery and tells a tale. You know, a good old fashioned tale.
I did enjoy this.
Oh and the price us poor women have to pay......... (that was said as a semi humorous quip).
Jx
------------
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Candlewitch
Fri, 2017-06-30 11:52
hello Jane,
and thank you for reading and commenting on this; my first successful "storytelling poem" I'm glad you liked it. mythology is so full of tragedy!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2017-06-30 11:55
thanks Mark,
and I much enjoyed your after thought! :)
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Sun, 2021-05-02 16:59
Hi Candlewitch
I really love this poem it speaks of a myth I'm familiar with in a language I can very much relate too. I knew the story but not how it was to end. Always sad how mortals suffer from the proclivities of the gods especially women. A thought provoking satisfying read
Candlewitch
Mon, 2021-05-03 07:00
hello Dalton,
you have grasped my meaning in a nut-shell! I was very happy with the end product of this poem. I was inspired and the poem wrote itself!!!
*many hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Mon, 2021-05-03 08:01
Hi Cat
I think that happens to the best poems they write themselves. I have some poems on the myth of medusa will sent you the link where it is situated on AP
Be well my new friend love John
Candlewitch
Mon, 2021-05-03 08:55
thank you
I would love to read them.
x & hugs, (the) Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Fri, 2023-12-29 12:58
Dearest Car
I love this poem as much for its rich imagery it’s rhyme scheme and deep underlying meaning of a woman forced into a sexual position that wasn’t her decision wasn’t her fault. She was forced by Poseidon in the temple of Athena and it was Medusa who was punished. In certain countries like India even today if a woman is raped she’s treated like she didn’t resist too much. Child abuse is just as evil of course. I must add that your poem as as much beautiful as it is a dark tirade against the Injustices forced upon women espec at such a time when they’re not strong enough to protect themselves though female empowerment as part of a movement is hopefully a route all women can travel. Love John xxx
Dalton
Fri, 2023-12-29 12:59
Dear Cat
I have a couple poems of my own on Medusa I’ll share with you via email if you’d like love John xxx
Candlewitch
Fri, 2023-12-29 19:16
Thank you dearest John,
I will read them in the morning as I am wiped out tonight. Now I require a kitty in my lap!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Sat, 2023-12-30 08:18
Dearest Cat
Just of course I wish you love to yourself and your Kitty xxx
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-01-31 15:59
Thank you my John...
>{^*;*^}<
* love, Cat xxx
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Wed, 2024-01-31 16:14
TY Cat
Thanks darling xxx
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-01-31 16:25
Dearest Dalton,
I feel that you are my guardian angel!
* love, Cat xxx
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Wed, 2024-01-31 18:22
Dearest Cat
All I can offer is a loving friendship dear love John xxx
Candlewitch
Thu, 2024-02-01 09:02
Dearest friend,
What you offer is true and fine...it is enough.
*your loving friend, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Thu, 2024-02-01 14:00
Dearest Cat
Thanks darling xxx