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The Accident
Confusion abounds as thoughts run wild,
The oldest adult is reduced to a child.
Time stands still or moves in sliding slow motion,
All meaning seems lost in the depths of an ocean.
Sounds echo back or are lost in a wail,
As terror reigns and fears prevail.
Crashing and slashing the noise cuts through
As soft men in white bend over you.
Soon they are gone and the night swallows all,
But the memory of it we will always recall.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Umeh Collins Ebube
Mon, 2020-01-27 14:49
I know of the accident you meant to say...
The accident is "death" in this poem. The first three lines paints good imagery. But i couldn't grab the message in line four " all meaning seems lost..." I think you can explain this better for my own understanding.
In line eight " as soft men bend..." I thought the poem talks about death (the accident of death of men after life). Why was the word " white " used for men? Sorry 'cos I did not get that right, was death supposed to be for some certain people? Even the black would die. I don't know if I'm missing something or am out of point. please make it to be self explanatory to me. I like the accent vibes of the poem. Lol.
The last two lines is superb and the fact not fallacy is that everyone who dies story must be recall to our memories.
Thank you. I think I have make my view to the poem?
I'm Collins.
Collins
Umeh Collins Ebube
Mon, 2020-01-27 14:50
The accident is "death" in
The accident is "death" in this poem. The first three lines paints good imagery. But i couldn't grab the message in line four " all meaning seems lost..." I think you can explain this better for my own understanding.
In line eight " as soft men bend..." I thought the poem talks about death (the accident of death of men after life). Why was the word " white " used for men? Sorry 'cos I did not get that right, was death supposed to be for some certain people? Even the black would die. I don't know if I'm missing something or am out of point. please make it to be self explanatory to me. I like the accent vibes of the poem. Lol.
The last two lines is superb and the fact not fallacy is that everyone who dies story must be recall to our memories.
Thank you. I think I have make my view to the poem?
I'm Collins.
Collins
cathy mccormick
Fri, 2020-01-31 06:52
hi collins. in usa (and i do
hi collins. in usa (and i do not know where the poet who wrote this lives) i think the soft men in white would be doctors, medical people
Umeh Collins Ebube
Sat, 2020-02-01 17:38
Okay, now I know 'cos I
Okay, now I know 'cos I needed the poet(ess) opinion on what "white" symbolize in the poem?
Collins
WonderWoods
Wed, 2020-02-12 21:49
The Accident - meanings
I wrote this poem and it is literally based on a car accident I was involved in. Cathy is right that the "soft men in white" are medical people that come to your aid after an accident. The last two lines are just so true - "the night swallows all, but the memory of it we will always recall." I am flattered that you saw a deeper meaning in my work.
Umeh Collins Ebube
Thu, 2020-02-13 13:25
You're welcome.
You're welcome. I get your complete message now. I love the way you write...
Collins
LittleGift
Thu, 2020-02-13 17:01
Great poem
I liked this because it left the reader understanding the impact trauma has. Even though the physicalities of the event ended. All the feelings tied into it, the images of that scene are forever etched in the minds and even nerves of those who lived through it. Great piece on trauma as well as the actual accident.
Thanks for sharing
LG :)