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Soul Dancing
Soul Dancing
there are lingering
pages of you
I remember softly
morning
loving your eyes
looking through time
and back again
touching
that part of you
touching
me...
knowing
at that moment
in our time
what could never be
whole again
without you
lost in your gaze
unable
to look away
climbing after
mesmeric player
pipes the tune
spellbound soul
I follow
cresting...
keeping pace
with the woven magic
Rock teeth
bellow
cannot touch me
I am flighted!
I Believe
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Kailashana2
Mon, 2011-06-06 13:03
I think it is a beautiful
I think it is a beautiful poem all the way through, Cat.
I know that double spacing occurs when transferring from Word, and that is the only quibble I have.
~A
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 09:50
Dear K.
Thank you. Yes, the double spacing on transfer is annoying.
always, Cat
*
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raj
Mon, 2011-06-06 14:30
Dearest Cat
this poem is all the more beautiful because of its cascading effect ..it flows so beautifully....
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 09:52
Dear raj,
Thank you for reading and commenting! It is always nice to see you.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Race_9togo
Mon, 2011-06-06 15:04
Yeah
I love this one Cat, its powerful and intimate and smooth as silk, except for the double spacing, and the quotes on the last line, which aren't needed, to me.
Really really good!
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 09:56
Hi Jim!
I removed the quotes, as you suggested. I think it looks better now. Your suggestions and input are always welcome. Thank you!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
vexations10
Mon, 2011-06-06 15:39
I agree
with the previous comments! It works.
vexations
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 09:58
Dear Vex,
LOL! Thanks!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 10:02
Thank you Lonnie,
This poem was written for, "my other favorite subject," He is my light through the darkness. I'm glad you liked it!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 10:05
Hello Rosi,
Soul dancing with my soul mate! The only kind of dancing I'll ever do anymore, lol!
love, Cat
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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-06-07 10:40
It worked!!!
Just like a charm! Thank you, dear Rosi!
love, Cat
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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-06-08 10:48
Thanks for the generous offer Rosi,
and for helping me out. When it comes to computers, I'm a real novice. I will try to figure it out before I come bothering you. You have been a great help, and I appreciate it greatly, dear friend.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Lenny of Cohen
Tue, 2011-06-07 11:17
Beautifully crafted
and wonderful poem!
Namaste,
Lenny
_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent
Wei Wu Wei
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-06-08 10:50
Hello Lenny,
Thank you for reading and commenting.
brightest blessings, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.