Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Moon Dance
moon dance
dark heavens
hold soft petite
intermittant clouds
moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurely aside
revealing
the silver white
of a copious orb
low in the sky
seemingly
almost within
loving reach
I want to claim it
as my own
as I waltz
to the tune
the moon has inspired
within my soul
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
lou
Sat, 2011-10-29 11:04
Cat
Awsome, a fabulous use of voculary.
Love the whole thing.
love Louise
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-11-01 10:16
Dear Louise,
Thanks for your read and support.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geremia
Sat, 2011-10-29 14:56
extraordinary ! A whirling
extraordinary ! A whirling dance of words and images.
joe
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-11-01 10:17
Thanks Joe! Your comment is
Thanks Joe! Your comment is appreciated.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Tue, 2011-11-01 14:51
Dearest Cat
this creates a sublime image and mood of a soul in peace...i loved its feel...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-11-02 11:45
Dear Raj,
Thank you. My words do indeed reflect my inner being :)
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-11-02 11:47
Hey there Rosi!
It would be my pleasure to dance with you! Thank you for the comment and the dance!
Love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Tue, 2011-12-27 16:29
Hi Cat
a smooth effortless read..............stan
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-01-15 04:36
"Copious orb"
"moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurly aside
revealing..."
moving
float......!
revealing
the rhythm wouldn't be disturbed by the ING.
..the silver white of A copious orb
personally I don't like the "loving reach" another word for loving.
I like the ending.
liesurEly.
I like the "Copious orb" sometimes it appears so extra large.
Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Candlewitch
Sun, 2012-01-15 10:08
Dear Ann
Thank you for reading and suggesting changes. I have utilized most of them. I can't think of a change for "loving" at the moment, but I will work on it. I'm terrible at spelling and I wish neo had a spell checker for our posts. I'm glad you liked the ending.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.