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Up On The Roof
UP ON THE ROOF
I can lay there in bed and look at the stars
My roof has a hole where the rain comes in
After two years my patience is wearing thin
But at least my phone signal has four bars
It’s a dangerous climb to fix missing slates
A temporary fix was to patch with tarpaulin
But lost when the stormy winds came calling
Dare I skip another year and tempt the fates
I’ve asked around for a roofer to call
As yet, no takers and I can’t think why
Up there maybe they think they can fly
But mostly it’s a risk that they might fall
I’ve got a ladder that’s missing a single rung
A scaffold, surely I shouldn’t need to erect
For such a minor roofing fault to correct
In time, will a tale be told or even sung
Not sure how I made it but I’m here now
The slates are replaced, a job well done
This roofing business is just work, not fun
As good a job as my finances would allow
Since then I’ve got a passion for this work
Soon it might even be tall skyscrapers
As I had a publicity photo in the papers
And getting danger money is a real perk
Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2022-12-03 09:30
My thoughts...
on this, is to rearrange the lines to rhyme alternately, instead of the present arrangement. If you read it aloud, you will see why. I think that there are other changes to be made, but that is just a matter of shortening up the lines by getting rid of some words. All-in-all, I like the theme and the tone of a little amusement. ~ Geezer.
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RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-12-29 19:50
An interesting take
I enjoyed the story and can imagine looking through the hole in the roof and the overall frustration of home repairs. Nice job.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Thu, 2022-12-29 21:33
Up On The Roof
A unique, creative rhyme pattern, and a very different approach to the theme. Clever storytelling!
L