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Finding Salvation
Looking for my salvation
no Almighty did I find
in street’s dark pathways.
Where to find my God?
I searched in pristine chapels.
I chanted verses
of sacred scriptures for hours.
I heard learned priests
tell ten commandments,
extol blessed sacraments.
Until I sat in silence,
where He found me!
They say what do you ask Him?
I ask for nothing
only to feel him/her here.
I listen for Yahweh’s voice;
messages gather, resting
on my still, quiet mind.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
title based on the work In The Absence of God: Dwelling in the Presence of the Sacred. * Sam Keen
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
vexations10
Tue, 2011-01-04 12:39
Thanks,
Not my usual topic so smoewhat of a stretch for me.
vexations
musical prayers
Sat, 2011-01-15 07:31
Hello
I really enjoyed this poem.... Patty
Kailashana2
Sat, 2011-01-15 09:06
Hi Vex, welcome back from the
Hi Vex, welcome back from the silence.
;-)
~A
p.s. You too, Patty.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-02-11 11:35
Hello,
I had to look up the word, "Yahweh." And I must thank you for the education and adding to my knowledge. This is what I found:
Yahweh
Yah·weh [y? wày] or Yah·veh [y? vày] or Jah·veh [y? vày] or Jah·weh [y? vày] noun
Hebrew name of God: a name of God, expanded from the four letters, YHWH (Tetragrammaton), that form the proper name of God in Hebrew
[Late 19th century. From Hebrew.]
Encarta® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1999,2000 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.
(I know... I need to get a new dictionary, etc. lol)
I found your poem to be quite interesting. My favorite verse:
They say what do you ask Him?
I ask for nothing
only to feel him/her here.
I listen for Yahweh’s voice;
messages gather, resting
on my still, quiet mind.
Thanks for the good read and expanding my mind! I have no suggestions.
Always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
vexations10
Sun, 2011-02-13 14:53
Glad to
have been able to expand your knowledge a bit. Thanks for reading what I post. I want to "follow" you if I can figure out how to do it for sure. I think I hit the right button but will check it again.
vexations
mand
Fri, 2011-02-11 12:04
Hi Vexation
I don't think I've read your work before. As the others have said this is a quiet peaceful poem. I like the title "Finding Salvation". I often use the English version of Yahweh ( Jehovah ) so it is a familiar word for me.
I enjoyed the poem and liked the part where you said "Until I sat in silence, where He found me"!
the result was peace of mind.
Thank you for sharing this thought provoking piece
Love Mand xxxxx
vexations10
Sun, 2011-02-13 14:51
Thanks
I was on a good bit before the site crashed. i had hoped they would get our poems back for us. Did you lose your work too. Some poems I had revised here and not copied to my hard drive. Gonna go read some of your work.
vexations