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Awareness
Her eyes
never allowed
boredom
upon her heart.
Each light, or shadow
held a secret treasure,
a passionate perspective
awaiting to be unlocked
and displayed.
When she shared
her vision
my humbled glance
gathered in
so splendid a moment
I paused in awe.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Written in response to an absolutely stunning set of photos taken by someone I know.
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-25 17:17
Hi vex
A picture worth 1000 words eh? Some photos are impossible to describe in words. Got a few ideas that you can think on :
change awaiting to waiting
My humbled glance
gathered
in so splendid a moment..........just a thought...........stan