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When you are alone
When You are alone the sadness sets in and your depression begins . your are a sad sad swan swimming in your lonesome pond sadly softly singing your love song hopefully someones heart hears and decides to swim towards the pond and willingly wants to have a bond with you the swan of sadness. And you now feeling a flamboyant flame in your heart finally Flying with them like a dove and finally dive deep into the luscious lake of love.
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Tue, 2020-07-28 21:01
When You Are Alone
Hi, Edward,
Your language is beautiful - soft and tender then strong and bold. But what I love about your poetry, especially this piece, is the build up, the increase in movement and motion and the wonderful way you have one's heart "dive deep into a luscious lake of love." True - the only way to fully understand the lake of love is to dive deeply into it. Wonderful.
Thank you!
L
Edward nigma
Tue, 2020-07-28 21:27
Thank you
Thank you
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
Edward nigma
Wed, 2020-07-29 06:57
Thank you
Thank you
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
raj
Wed, 2020-07-29 07:45
Hi Edward
Your lovely theme scripted in prose transformed nicely by Teddy in poetic form....
raj (sublime_ocean)
Edward nigma
Sat, 2020-08-01 12:49
Thank you
Thank you
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.