Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
JUSTICE
Crime has many eyes
Wings but can't fly
Long as snake
bites itself often
Has extended family
And through the generations--distant relatives
Justice sees no sound
Hears no insight
The thorn amidst the crop
Because what's "a lion without tooth
Tree without root
Lie without truth?"---justice.
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
The crimes been committed in societies now is too much and it seems some governments are not addressing it properly,which means there is so much conspiracy but the day of justice shall arrive sooner or later.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
chevyvent
Mon, 2019-05-27 18:32
Lover rermark you got going on here
very good writing you have her waiting for,
"Justice sees no sound
Hears no insight
The thorn amidst the crop",
potsherd
Mario Vitale
Simon
Tue, 2019-05-28 04:50
Hi chevyvent
Thanks for your comment I'm so excited been with a neopoet family.
Thanks once more.
Geezer
Tue, 2019-05-28 16:47
I see...
your hunger for humanity to be free from the abuse of power. I don't think that there is one answer to the lifting and saving of people under the rule of tyrants. I liked the simile of crime to a snake and the way that crime has generations and extended family. Did you mean [wings] instead of winds?
I really think I got the thought behind the theme. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Simon
Thu, 2019-05-30 07:56
Well
Actually it's suppose to be (wings) but it is mistake of a finger touch thanks for your observation.
gregwa8
Wed, 2019-05-29 03:52
a nice two part poem. crime
a nice two part poem. crime/justice. a long snake that bites itself is a clever image. I especially like the final rhymes, "what's a lion without tooth, tree without root, lie without truth?"
Simon
Thu, 2019-05-30 07:53
Thanks
Thanks for liking this poem I pray that justice is done at the end.
Cloudthings
Fri, 2019-06-21 10:33
Hi Simon
I got some good emotive reaction from those first few lines, you came at the concept in a different way than I would have , & that is often a great thing... Loved the imagery of. "long as a snake, bites itself often" & also the way the following line made me explore my own understanding/perspective of crime.
Good job
Cheers
Anni
My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"
Simon
Mon, 2019-07-01 07:23
Thanks cloudthings
It's my pleasure here having your comment and I'm so excited knowing that you love it.