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When I
When I dance,
its with the butterfly
fluttering in
the morning air
zig-zagging with the music of the dawn.
When I laugh,
it's with the dead leaves
gliding in
the Harmattan
as they rustle and frolic in a flock.
When I sing,
it's with the songbird
whistling through
the frigid night
of things that move his little heart.
But when I cry, I cry alone,
and wait until,
the clouds give way,
and the butterfly, songbird, leaves
come out to play.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
I'm not sure how well the title works. :-/
Harmattan - one of two seasons experienced in sub-saharan Africa (the other being the Rainy Season). It is a dry and dusty season caused by the trade winds that come from the North East, blowing over the Sahara to the south.
Editing stage:
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Comments
loved
Sat, 2014-01-04 20:10
u dance sing laugh and cry
u dance ..sing..laugh and cry
say something more about how you
with love also play
loved
William Saint George
Sun, 2014-01-05 05:51
I said so,
it's in the first stanza of the poem.
.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Seren
Tue, 2014-02-11 09:05
William
I really loved this one I cant find anything that stands out to suggest, there is a sorrow that runs through the poem, but its a beautiful sorrow..
well done
love JC xx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
alidzain
Sat, 2014-02-15 08:40
nicely done
nicely done.love it
Alid