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We Are The World, Of The World
Why do we think the world revolves around us?
because it does.
"We are the world, of the world,
from the world, it's elements,
its water source, its dirty soil,
we are the center of the universe".
Once our spirit departed,
returned to its source, the ground, the earth,
this life force goes back to heaven.
the world'll no longer revolve around us,
today it does;
I feel it's connection.
"We are the world, of the world,
from the world, it's elements,
its water source, its dirty soil,
we are the center of the universe".
even dead we're alive
in the memorial tomb,
the creator's memory.
the body, the soul goes back to the soil
from whence it came.
Therefore, when we return to this pre-purposed earth,
when we meet together again, a better day,
a new body, perfect soul,
the former things will've passed away.
Thus the world revolves around us;
"We'll be the world, of the world,
from the world, it's elements,
its water source, its dirty soil,
the center of the universe" once again.
Comments
ines
Wed, 2016-05-25 03:26
I love the message/concept
I love the message/concept that this poem sends to the readers.
We are the world or the world, what a beautiful word game.
You answer existentialism questions in such simply and pretty ways, truly admirable
ines
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2016-06-03 03:37
Thanks
For the comment and critique. It greatly appreciated
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
mand
Wed, 2016-05-25 05:01
Hi Barbara
Strong faith comes across in this poem. I think you have explained your hope in a logical, yet imaginative way - case in point: Below stanza
Therefore, when we return
to this beautiful pre-purposed earth,
when meet each other again, a better day
a better body, once again we're the world, of the world
we revolves around the world
because we are the world, of the world.
One typo in this stanza, I think, "...we "revolve"...... :)
Well done Barbara - Thanks for sharing
Keep safe xxx
Love Mand xxx
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2016-06-03 03:42
Thanks
I really appreciate the critique.
I rewrote it some and I exited bf reading suggestions
to make the rhythm flow better
Hope you still like.
Your suggestions really works
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Keith Logan
Sat, 2016-06-04 05:40
Simple
and effective declaration of faith. Who can argue? Certainly not me. I like this a lot and have no critique to offer, sorry.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2016-06-04 12:16
Sorry?
Not at all. I'm glad the extensive revision worked.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community