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Trespass
ephemeral victory inform my desire
frayed ends in my fists
a tattered flag on my spire
remind me the moment is never enough
anger's on brand but anger is rough
take more than you toil
sit more than you lift
gratitude is grief but revenge is a gift
forever repay them the injury due
forgive them the trespass forgiven for you
there's gold in the bones of wise man's mistakes
there's acceptance and struggle
and mountains with lakes
so with gold will I pave
the road to my grave
feigning lament for the tools I don't save
there's the hammer that's held
and refuses to see it
and the one that's unwielded
so certain its needed
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rula
Fri, 2022-12-09 03:45
Hello Indivisible- Origin
And a warm welcome to Neopoet.
Hope you enjoy with us your poetic journey.
This is definitely a great first submission with so many wise messages. I can choose so many favorite lines if I had to.
These two are just some
gratitude is grief but revenge is a gift
And
forgive them the trespass forgiven for you
I see you have entered the piece in new participants contest, so I wish you the best.
Welcome again and wish to read more of your work.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Indivisible_Origin
Fri, 2022-12-16 20:49
Thank you
Thank you so much for the kind comments and for reading.
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-12-09 10:48
Mistakes
I make a lot of them. A. LOT. I have a lyric from a favorite poet of mine I recall when I’m regretting past mistakes and getting down on myself.
“Lay that hammer down
If your cross needs a nail
I’m sure we can sort it out”
John Dyer Baizley
Welcome again and excellent writing
Tim
Indivisible_Origin
Fri, 2022-12-16 21:08
Mistakes
Hell, you can't avoid them so best we embrace them, eh brother? Thank you for reading.
Lavender
Sat, 2022-12-10 19:23
Trespass
Hello!
Welcome to Neo!
I see you have marked this as Free Verse, but it appears to be a well-written rhyming poem. I feel the strong irony - "gratitude is grief, but revenge is a gift." Much to like here.
Thank you,
Lavender
Indivisible_Origin
Fri, 2022-12-16 21:09
Too kind.
The form and the labels they take right? I've been playing with the prosaic and the poetic alike, the form, cadence, and the volume when I am fortunate enough to have an audience to read them aloud. Thank you for reading.