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Titty-Bear and Cotton-Candy Heart...
On nights when you are asleep
And I can't close my eyes
I lie there thinking and I weep
Because I am not so wise
I can't tell how much I love you
There are no words to say
I'm so grateful you said "I do"
I'll love you everyday
On my chest is a Titty-Bear
Close to my beating heart
I had them put it there
And then I had it start
Heart full of cotton-candy
Sweet as any rhyme
Heart of cotton-candy is just dandy
Keeping time with mine
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
For my wife on Valentine's Day
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2021-02-14 10:49
Had to say it...
for the rhyme and because I'm not so wise as to be able to tell her how much I love her. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Sun, 2021-02-14 14:33
Thank you Teddy...
I know that you feel this and understand what it is to love so much. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
chima ononogbu
Sun, 2021-02-14 14:38
So touchy
Nothing is ever enough for one so dear and so loving.
Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.
Lavender
Mon, 2021-02-15 13:20
Titty-Bear and Cotton-Candy Heart...
Hi, Geezer,
"Heart full of cotton candy." A very sweet Valentine! Your love and great devotion are felt throughout!
Thank you!
L
Geezer
Mon, 2021-02-15 19:59
No, Thank you!...
You ladies are among my biggest fans and I am always glad to hear what you have to say. [It's always good!] I am almost ashamed of your praise, [at least bashful, I blush when I read your comments!] Thank you all, for being so supportive. Yes, I love my wife very much and I am glad that it shows. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Mon, 2021-02-15 20:24
It shows! It shows!
I hope you both had a wonderful Valentine's Day!
L