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TALISMAN FORGIVING
I have forgotten all the words
of passing
like a sigh in dreamspeak
up against the incoming
dusk is a tangle of thought
and a single star lonely
as a beacon signal
flares brightly
I could cut out thoughts
and stitch the breaks
theres something
lovely about this pain
and how you ride
against the grain
and fit no well made plan
im so uncertian now
like a paperwork exposed
in rain
how I melt
with each droplet
in tumultous rapture
Editing stage:
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Comments
themoonman
Wed, 2011-01-05 09:25
Steven ...
I've missed your poetry,
thank you for allowing me
to drip alongside ...
Richard
weirdelf
Sat, 2015-01-10 10:53
Altogether a lovely and well crafted poem
though I found the last line a tad incongruous, it somehow didn't fit with the tone and level of the rest. A couple of typos
theres something [there's]
im so uncertian now
I'm so uncertain now
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Sat, 2015-01-10 16:23
attraction
last line is what the whole poem is about
over run in this great dazzle
I find some people mentally
like candy
a drug
for years i got lines thrown at me
one liners that would hit the
subconcious and not the
conscious
Like advertisments
indoctrinations
Hypnoses
it was great...
the hit was fantastic
adrenalin
a rush to the heart
breath in fast
that kind of thing
now Im learning
to see the pattern
like the rain on the paper
the plans
with the drops
the pattern emerges only
when the whole thing
is given up and ruined
reduced
each held onto tiny moment
has to be given up
put down
given this overall whole
experience to be seen
It becomes apparent
through the transparency
and now that that is
seen...The plan
it makes sense
and I am able to reflect
this back
The one line wit
spoken fast thrown
in the subconcious
level
pyscho babble I know
if it doesnt make any sense
thats okay
I hope when my life takes
off over here That I keep
writing..
Thank You!
weirdelf
Sat, 2015-01-10 18:03
if you
say so
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Sun, 2015-01-11 12:06
I remember reading up on poets/poetesses
finding out some of them were highly intelligent
univercity...familiies from wealthe power.
I had assumed that poetry was not as high
strata due to the regard as an art form
and not an income issue
that was long ago
Back to Creative intelligence!
and the fact that its rare
which is why publishing can
draw an income
if so pursued
For me its art..
and Neo is like a gallery
a place for sharing
and critique
as we are doing now
not just the art work
but the Artist
Thank You!