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She's An Animal... [Neopoet Random Challenge #7]
She was such an animal
She took away my heart
She ate it up with relish
She had me from the start
Eyes of brown and curly-haired
Snuggles every night
She kissed me with abandon
Everything I did was right
We swam in the lake and partied
I held her, oh so close
Breakfast every morning
We ate berry-jam on toast
One day she up and left me
I was stunned beyond belief
I remember quite distinctly
My heart was full of grief
My "Baby" was my Shepard-dog
I grieved so hard and long
People said; "But, she's just an animal"
And I say that they were wrong
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Ray Whitaker
Mon, 2021-09-06 21:43
wow.. hit home to me
at first I didn't realize that this was your dog
Shepards are soo much empaths
I am laid low when I lose one
seems like a part of myself goes away with the loss
have had Shepards for 30+ years
meter and rhythm so well done
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Geezer
Tue, 2021-09-07 09:22
Thank you...
I am no longer able to keep a dog of any kind, since I rent and the landlord [nice guy otherwise] prohibits dogs.
Most of the dogs I had, were of Shepard-mix. "Baby" was the only purebred Shepard I've had. My first wife and I got her as the "runt" of the litter that no one wanted, right after we got married. She was my best fishing buddy. I worked nights so it was easy to have lots of day-light time with her. The three of us went fishing a lot and she was of great help [which included putting the fish back in the water, when we weren't looking!] LoL Thanks for your comments. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Geezer
Tue, 2021-09-07 22:53
Thank you...
for the praise. I love it! LoL
~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Obadiah Grey
Tue, 2021-09-07 11:56
Loved the twist, didn't see
Loved the twist, didn't see that one coming.
The final stanza transformed the previous four and gave them purchase.
Obi.
Geezer
Tue, 2021-09-07 22:54
Glad that...
the twist was unseen. Thanks, ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jackweb
Thu, 2021-09-09 15:10
what a beautiful drop...
A quatrain in poetry cements the pacing.
Rhythmic and condensed.
Always the master at all times
Bravo!
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb