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Pillow Note # 2
Sweetheart
please don't be mad at me
I skipped dinner
only to stay hungry
for YOU
Ah! you are smiling now
so I will skip the bites
and have you
for dessert instead
stay yummy for ME....
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Wed, 2011-01-05 13:18
Dearest Shirl..
happy to know you are having fun..laughs and enjoying writing pillow notes and coming up with a really steamy one here..lol...keep at it..i am sure you will be able to post more pillow notes from your very creative mind...
with much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Wed, 2011-01-05 13:56
LOL
though you didnt capitalize...i loved the way you used "it"...in "don't even think about it"...leaving the reader with multiple choices to imagine what "it" could be....i would rate this as a mildly naughty pillow note..lol...
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Sat, 2011-01-08 14:15
Dearest JayCee..
good to know you liked this one and it brought on a smile...nice to know too that you will be posting a Pillow Note hopefully very soon...
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Sat, 2011-01-08 14:19
Dearest Xena...
thanks for your short and sweet comment....your comment made me happier because a pi;low note is supposed to have the elements you have mentioned..."delightful" & "romantic"...which is the essence of a pillow note...i am looking forward to others getting inspired to write pillow notes and post them...would be nice to see yours too..
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)