Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
IN MY VAULT
Soft waves wash across our feet
and wipe our footprints from the sand.
Board walk provides a deep backbeat
from a sixties tribute band.
We've walked along this beach before
and heard the plaintive sea birds cry
as they patrolled this stretch of shore
wheeling within a clear blue sky.
But now my gait is not as fast.
My love slows down because of me
unlike the times far in the past
when we splashed this east coast sea.
Yet the mist still tastes of salt
just the way it did back then
in memories stored in my mind's vault
of how it tasted on your skin.
And as our evening comes on us
I guess the sea spray makes me blind
I see neither wrinkles nor hair mussed
just that young girl clearly in my mind.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2020-10-01 11:15
Hi Jerry
Thank you for your kind words
Geezer
Thu, 2020-10-01 09:15
A great tribute...
to your dear Susan and one of the peacful, languid places that you two have visited together. It couldn't have been more clear how much you are still in love with both your wife and the beach. Great stuff and a little different from the usual [woods] theme. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2020-10-01 11:17
LOL
I guess I write of the woods so much because I'm a knot head lol. But once in a while I tilt my noggin and let some of the sand run out...........
scribbler
Fri, 2020-10-02 00:04
Hi Ted
Yeah she waits and keeps on waiting for me for some reason lol. Glad you dropped by
lovedly
Fri, 2020-10-02 00:18
This stanly
is great
what would you want me to say
do pl state
and yeah
clearly xx* in my mind....You missed the ISxx*
eagles eyes this poet is
happy veterans day did u read it today
Gracy
Thu, 2021-01-28 20:16
Hi Stan, what a romantic poem
Hi Stan, what a romantic poem, the kind I most enjoy. Your love for your wife Susan comes through powerfully. The title, rhyming and all else is perfect. Enjoyed the read.
It's wonderful to visit you all again.
All the best, Gracy
*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
scribbler
Thu, 2021-01-28 21:48
Hi Grace
Thank you for your kind words. I'm always a bit surprised when a minor edit on an old poem brings additional readers my way