Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
My Old Flames
She was my old flame
I can never remember her name;
she often tried to bite me,
at times it did excite me,
she was my old flame.
My gal Christine
she was pretty, slender, and mean;
she was such a vamp,
in fact was quite the tramp,
she was but a teen.
Then came Shirl
who really made my life twirl;
when she left me I got sad,
She treated me so bad,
thought she was the girl.
Then came Anne
I feared she might be a man;
she'd slap me on my ass,
and was built like Mama Cass,
from her I finally ran.
Next came Betty
we always got busy, and sweaty;
we both had hated Nixon,
she really was a vixen,
she was always "ready".
They were my old flames
I can never remember their names;
they always tried to bite me,
at times it did excite me,
they're all my old flames.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
docmaverick
Thu, 2011-08-18 20:58
you, my dear....
...are very most probably correct. I was under the spell, and intoxication of, "my old flames".
As always, I custumarily was waayyy too quick.
I can hear the cuteness of your giggle.
docmaverick.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==