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Moonlight Kiss
Softer than a pillow
pinker than its lace
your lips comfort me
with a silken caress
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Tue, 2011-01-11 13:26
Dearest Shirl...
thank you for your lovely comment and response in a very lovely romantic verse....
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Nordic cloud
Tue, 2011-01-11 11:21
Sweet Raj
What sweet simplicity of expression in the bliss of togetherness unfettered and undisturbed.
Love to you from Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
raj
Tue, 2011-01-11 13:29
Dear Ann..
i am truly touched by your comment..coming from seasoned poets like you it is very inspiring...thank you for the read ..
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-01-11 11:25
Ohhhh...
Raj, that is a very sweet thought!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Tue, 2011-01-11 13:31
Dear Cat
thank you for the read and comment which is much appreciated..
warmly...
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Tue, 2011-01-11 16:18
If only I could
Offer my lips,
the silky
touch in return
would wet me
loved
raj
Wed, 2011-01-12 13:35
Dear Loved..
i loved the spontaneity of your lovely response....
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Tue, 2011-01-11 16:24
Your lips divine
Your lips divine
Give me an opportunity
To define
That as we place
A lip upon lip
We would perhaps
Entwine
Like a vine
Ending up
In my most favourite
Frenchy
loved
raj
Wed, 2011-01-12 13:38
Dear Loved...
once again i am awed and touched by the spontaeinity of your beautifull poetic response...
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Wed, 2011-01-12 14:39
Much
spontaneous thanks posted the kisses first series one
loved
raj
Tue, 2011-01-18 13:04
Dearest JayCee
thank you for your comment ...it is a delight to know that you found this to be worthy to bookmark.,...
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
mand
Tue, 2011-01-18 13:12
Oh Raj
So sweet and yet full of romantic feeling. What a lovely tribute this would make for someone special.
Brilliant
Love Mand xxxxxxx
Hooded Stranger
Tue, 2011-01-18 13:17
Raj
Raj,
short and sweet...I prefer your longer poems but this does still hold its appeal.
I wasn't sure if you intended for the second and fourth line to rhyme...it would give it a rounded flow if it did, so you could change the last word to:
Softer than a pillow
pinker than its lace
your lips comfort me
with a silken caress (embrace)
Just a thought my friend,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
raj
Sat, 2011-01-22 13:21
Dear Dan
very sorry for being late on this one...suggestions are always most welcome...i did give a good thought to the change proposed by you..as rightly said by you, the word ."embrace" does give the poem a more rounded look phonetically w.r.t. "lace" in line 2....however since it is in the context of "lips" i feel the word "caress" (like the gentle caress of moon light) is a better fit...
please never stop making suggestions and/or critique..i thrive on them ...
warmly...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Hooded Stranger
Sat, 2011-01-22 14:10
Raj
Raj,
your reasoning is sound - I won't stop offering advice, don't you worry.
Keep up the writing...especially the 'dark' stuff.
regards,
HS
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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
raj
Sat, 2011-01-22 13:59
Dearest Xena
thank you for your comment ..good to know you enjoyed it..
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)