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INFANT SORROW ( imagery shop final assignment)
Infant Sorrow by William Blake
My mother groaned, my father wept:
Into the dangerous world I leapt,
Helpless, naked, piping loud,
Like a fiend hid in a cloud.
Struggling in my father's hands,
Striving against my swaddling-band
Bound and weary, I thought best
To sulk upon my mother's breast.
stripped version :
Mother groaned, father wept
into the world I lept
Struggling in hands
striving
I thought best
to sulk
Rewritten version :
Mother groaned , no father wept
into bright sterile world I lept
Helpless, unwanted mewling low
my fate, nevermore to grow
Struggling in uncaring hands
striving to prolong life's pouring sands
No heed of what I thought best
left to sulk for failing life's first test
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Pretty gruesome I know but i thought this about as opposite as changing imagery could make it
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
scribbler
Tue, 2017-07-18 17:09
Hi Mark
Partial birth abortion is what I hoped to convey as opposed to a regular birth. And I Don't expect many will like the message as it's pretty horrific but I though it might work well for shop purposes. I expect most involved in the shop will provide more palatable works than this........stan