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Home
It is not
always
any port
in a storm
and yet
it could be.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2014-02-01 03:44
Hello LorienLord
and a warm welcome to the Neo. I hope you will enjoy your time here.
A nice little piece. I usually like brevity , but I thought this needs to be a bit extended to tell us more about Home, a place where we all relate to .
Welcome again.
Looking forward to reading more.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Seren
Sat, 2014-02-01 09:41
ello Patrick
Its so nice to have you back again, and you know I always loved your 'little' poems :) Its so good to read you again, don't be away so long next time huh ?
I loved this one, could be ;)
Love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
nokros
Sat, 2014-02-01 15:26
this is
good poetry. i would however discard the first it... for the poem to read 'home is...'
welcome.
raj
Sat, 2014-02-01 15:30
Patrick
I agree with Nokros about doing away with It in the first line. I always admire the likes of you who can convey a lot in so little words..
regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)