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HISTORY (September Contest)
How will we be judged
by distant descendants
far in the future?
Perhaps they'll think us unevolved
still fighting wars over religion
although violence leaves questions unsolved
or worst lead us to being cursed
to kill again....and again.
Or perhaps their thoughts of us
will be...kind
(if they think of us at all).
Perhaps they'll overlook the bad
and realize we did the best we could.
Worst? Best?Is our time here simply a test?
Will our grade be pass/fail
or will they grade us at all
as they wonder a dystopian wasteland
we bestowed on them?
Or will we be seen
in retrospect
as pioneers
In space, in time, in philosophy
who showed them all is possible
in a paradise on earth
and other places, other spaces.
As imperfect as we are
I worry.
Will they understand us?
Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2021-09-17 08:52
I like...
your free-form poem, but I don't see a poetic device in use here. Maybe look at the link given to see how you can incorporate one? ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-09-17 10:15
Hmmm.....
So the examples of alliteration and internal rhyme didn't come across?
Obadiah Grey
Fri, 2021-09-17 10:42
Thought they came across just
Thought they came across just fine, perhaps sparse, perhaps a tad remote, but all the better for that.
All in all,,,,, I liked it, cheers.
Obi.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-09-17 16:54
Hi Obi
Perhaps I need to edit to clarify the devices
Geezer
Fri, 2021-09-17 12:14
Sorry...
I guess my focus was too narrow. LoL I get it now, but still as Obi says; a little vague. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-09-17 16:55
Imagine
The sledge hammer being vague lol
Geezer
Fri, 2021-09-17 18:29
I can't believe...
how badly I missed on this one. Must be having flashbacks or something! A thousand apologies. I'll take my beating with a vague sledge-hammer and hope that I am forgiven for my inexcusable crap..~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Sat, 2021-09-18 01:18
Your opinion
means a lot to me. And I already see some places I can improve this. No need apologize
lovedly
Sun, 2021-09-19 17:57
You Stan have entered my domain
Since it's FREE STYLE
YOUR Title should
not ought to be
HISTORY REPEATS Itself
now rescribble it
scribbler
Sun, 2021-09-19 19:54
Hi lovedJust a reminder. Look through just the titles of my
chicken scratchings and you will see my affinity for single word titles. but your suggested title is a good one and should I decide to change titles it will be kept in memory.
Seren
Mon, 2021-09-20 14:47
Oh my... Bro!!!
This is my kind of poetry and you know it. I adored it. I didn't read anyone above me so as not to be swayed. I hadn't read the parameters for the contest yet but I will in the morning it's 4.44am I always write at this time of day as you know.
I think it's a brilliant poem.
Much love and hugs Sis x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Mon, 2021-09-20 17:09
hi Jayne
Sometimes i attempt free verse just to see if I can lol. Thanks for your kind words and stay safe down yonder