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Heat
Night sweats are the worst
Wet dreams and soaked sheets
Water lost in darkness
it's so hot mosquitos dying
Flies circle around our mouths
Looking for moisture
By day the oasis was a lie
A fake desert with plastic trees
This heat evaporated the seas
Hot air, stultifying breath
Rubber roads melted by the mirage
Car tyres blow and burn
Red fire engines on fire
Sit and pray for rain, hosepipes failed
Steel warped by heat, train tracks derailed
Nervous systems feel nothing
Slowly cooking us alive
Inhuman heat a quiet killer
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Thu, 2022-08-11 12:19
Heat
Hello, Sen99,
Record breaking high temperatures around the world. I feel the oppression from the actual temperature here in your poem, but also the overbearing oppression that the heat causes, especially stanza three: the seas evaporating, the hosepipes failing. (Also, possibly "flies" instead of "files" in the fifth line in your opening stanza?) Very intense poem about a serious problem. So much to think about regarding our dear climate.
Thank you,
Lavender
Sen99
Thu, 2022-08-11 15:57
Thank you Lavender
Have corrected my typo makes more sense now !
Thanks for commenting
Chiori
Thu, 2022-08-11 13:42
Then this is complete hell
Then this is complete hell then, your use of Word is. Unique
always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing
Sen99
Thu, 2022-08-11 16:00
Thank you for reading
Yes extreme heat can be a bit hellish
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-08-12 00:23
Heat of fusion!
The latent heat associated with melting of a solid is called the heat of fusion.
The most discomforting feeling around me is heat ! It causes restiveness and anger.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Sen99
Fri, 2022-08-12 04:49
Stay Cool
thanks for your comment
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2022-08-12 16:13
Been reading about the temps in the UK
Gotta be tough there, 'cause of it.
you should submit this to your local publishing opportunities! I'm certain it would be well received.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Sen99
Wed, 2022-08-17 04:24
Thank you Ray
We have had rain on Monday, nice downpour !