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Dimensional Dementia
Fractured psyches, Frankenstein
practicing professions
guinea pigs all in a row;
always on, slightly off
Wikipedestrian logic
dimensional dementia says it's so.
~
Plastic personalities
put Achilles heels foot forward
recycled dreams float high above the roof;
erogenous enablers
emotionality outcries,
dimensional dementia has the proof.
~
anti-skeptic scandalousity
shituation's bleak
if something threatens to back-up then, just let it;
traded wills for circumstance
you crazy diamonds all shine on,
dimensional dementia deserves to get the credit.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Happy Holidays?
Editing stage:
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Comments
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-12-11 05:57
Well, Beauregard....
...whoops! There it is.....whoops, there it is! Thanx for reading.
Sincerely,
docmaverick.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
the_fool
Sun, 2011-12-11 03:44
dementia indeed
it seems a bit scattered, like it's about to make a profound point but just stops.
the line 'emotionality outcries' really reads a bit off.
wikipedestrian? awesome word. original, i hope?
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-12-18 05:31
Thanx, ye old fooler....
...I think. Hopefully, I "fixed" that awkward spot; and as for the word,
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-12-18 05:31
Thanx, ye old fooler....
"wikipedestrian"....yeah, it's one of mine.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-12-18 05:30
Thanx, ye old fooler....
Sincerely, thanx;
for the comments.
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==