Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
DEARTH
The solitary sunlight
has plunged into
the arid desert
now severely
lacks vegetation
This drought time
that has pounced
on this plain
shall be the
last straw
that broke
the camel's
back.
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-01-24 14:49
dear Jack,
I like your title, it is sparse, like the poem. the flow is god. I'm a fan and advocate of free verse. your language usage is good. your words echo the way I have felt before , so I understand . keep writing. good work.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jackweb
Tue, 2023-01-24 15:27
I
Will always be appreciative of your precious comments any day any time you stop by.
Many thanks esteemed poetess.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Jackweb
Tue, 2023-01-24 23:06
Beautiful!
I also liked your perspective. Indeed, you have a bird's-eye view. Many thanks for this review.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Lavender
Thu, 2023-01-26 20:23
Dearth
Hi, Jackweb,
Such a vivid description - I can feel the intensity of the heat, and see the stark lack of vegetation. Witty, yet still a dramatic final line. A very appropriate title.
Lav
Jackweb
Thu, 2023-01-26 22:32
Many thanks!
You have a wonderful comments here. Thanks very much.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb