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City Ruins
Gathering around the city of white,
Pestilence, famine, and lack of elixir,
Things any man would fear,
Upon the arrival of death before their gates,
For an end of all ends, the city braced.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
This was written pre-pandemic… the irony.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-07-19 19:00
I love it
One thing…
Gathering around the city of white,
Pestilence, famine, and lack of elixir,
Things any man would fear,
Upon the arrival of death before their gates,
For an end of all ends, the city braced.
Saying upon twice is very redundant but this means exactly the same thing. Please take my suggestions lightly. Really cool poem.
Tim
Dystopia
Tue, 2022-07-19 19:04
Thanks for the suggestion! I
Thanks for the suggestion! I didn’t even notice that!