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At Christmas Time
At Christmas time,
The windows close
And fog out
The chilly clime.
The stars in the sky,
Are burning and bright.
The children are warm
And cozy inside,
And the little match girl
Is left out to die.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Poem written for Christmas day. Now submitted to the More meter workshop.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
William Saint George
Wed, 2011-12-28 18:46
Aww...
Didn't know what to expect with this one. I guess the poetic spirit speaks through people without them knowing it. I'm glad it touched you. I really am. Hope all is well now :)
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
weirdelf
Thu, 2011-12-29 17:45
Spot on!
I nearly didn't read this because of the title, but glad I did.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
William Saint George
Thu, 2011-12-29 19:32
Thank you!
Thanks!
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
weirdelf
Tue, 2012-01-24 23:02
At Christ/mas time, The wind
At Christ/mas time,
The wind/ows close
And fog/ out
The chill/y clime.
The stars/ in the sky,
Are burn/ing and bright.
The child/ren are warm
And coz/y inside,
And the little/ match girl
Is left out/ to die.
A mixture of Iamabic and Anapestic but it all works wor me. The line
And fog/ out
is called weak iambic because it starts and ends with unstressed syllables.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
William Saint George
Wed, 2012-01-25 10:16
I see the anapestic. It's in
I see the anapestic. It's in the last two lines right? I'm learning now!
%
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
docmaverick
Thu, 2012-01-26 22:36
Sir William....
...I read this poem BECAUSE of the title, and I am very happy that I did! This is a somewhat eclectic piece, as far as structure goes...but, my God! What a clear, concise slice of life! Too cruel.
This is a very solid effort!
Sincerely,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
William Saint George
Sat, 2012-01-28 15:00
Thanks
Most people didn't like it, because they thought it was too sad. I wrote it as my submission to a Christmas poetry program. I'm glad you think well of it.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
scribbler
Sat, 2012-01-28 15:06
hello
I can usually tell someone specifically why I like something. I read this the day it was posted. I liked it then and like it now but can't point out why lol.......stan
William Saint George
Sat, 2012-01-28 15:28
Let me drop a few hints: Was
Let me drop a few hints: Was it the message? The brevity (I like short too)?, the meter (wasn't thinking of it while writing)? lol
I'm glad you like this. I'l confess, it's one of my favourites too :D
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/