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Breakage
A hairline crack becomes a hole
Swallowed by an eternity that never could last
Though I suppose it could be for the best;
After all at the beach you’re allowed no false security.
But for all the right reasons I cannot see this light
That everyone is so convinced of
So swayed by, but only biased by really,
And I’m at the point where I question myself;
Is reason evading me or am I the one running?
Can I do so much better, is it my fault?
Is this why I can’t write a song?
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
a kind of rant poem (insert crooked smile)
Editing stage:
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Comments
Bonitaj
Wed, 2012-03-14 15:27
In a nutshell!
WOW! Great write! Liked the title which drew me in, and then it was nicely fleshed out into a self-disparaging, existentially angst filled piece, with a motiv many can relate to!
Well done!
Bonitaj
emogothgirl
Wed, 2012-03-14 18:21
bonitaj
thanks so much for your comments; teen angst is what i do best!
thanks,
mag
emogothgirl
Wed, 2012-03-14 18:22
very frustrated!
i'm going through a music block!!! OMG! haha thanks lonnie.
thanks,
mag