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To a bone deep stone.
I should have been a bone cold stone,
long interred under loam
But hard and smooth, was turfed by toe
which flinched from flint, then chose
Preferring to secrete me in warmer pocket,
as hard forged ingot found
Then bound to the neck, deep in locket,
as is the want, to be worn around.
A better fate is this, than being long
in bone interred, under lost ground
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Last few words:
Not sure where we're up to with this - i put together a small piece, after a couple of libes in the workshop..anyway - suggestions, comments welcome..
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
jane210660
Fri, 2017-06-30 05:58
A whole story
from being deep underground to being worn as a pendant.
I love the long barrow sort of feel to the stones origins. I'm fond of long barrows and the like - dead things in the ground. Probably why I did archaeology lol.
I like it as is, but I'm sure you will pick at it - grin.
jx
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vandiemenspeak
Sat, 2017-07-01 07:41
No - happy to let it lie Jane..
May =be a bit of fossicking and polishing now and then ;)
Thanks, on to the next part - guess, I've been out of range in the wilds of Tasmania, so have some catching up to do.
Take care,
Chris
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
wesley snow
Sat, 2017-07-15 08:54
But who wrote it?
You didn't say or is this yours?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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vandiemenspeak
Sat, 2017-07-15 10:43
Hey Wes..
This one's mine, it was done beofore instructions fully understood. Willl be back on track, now that I have connection sorted.
Thanks.
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.