Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A bird on the Bird

Submitted by Tolerantia on Sat, 2020-04-11 09:13

Strolling through the paths of rooms-like
I saw a flying creature drenched
And leaning
Should I say leaning; probably not

The bird on the Bird
Appear to roost all alone
Briskly swiftly
The speed of my means increased

As the downpours proceeded
I returned seeing myself
Grinning in the desire for
Having sight of this creature

There again she was calmly
Looking at the individual of me
I pulled up, zoomed her at
A distance

She realized I saw her
I saw she realized in me
That internal air
An internal air made it conceivable

This fledgling bird looked littler
And alive on the Bird

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing stage:

Contest:

Neopoet