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BEYOND THE VEIL
Let me tell you what I saw
the last time I went over there
beyond electrons' gaping maw
body beneath bright actinic glare.
Darkness shrank to a mere point
in the midst of formless nothingness
where space and time flowed out of joint
their directions anybody's guess.
Like light I sought the irised dark
and with a blink I passed right through
exiting Rosenstein's bridge like a spark
the cosmos in fine focused view.
A freeze frame of the universe;
Future? Past? No difference
all displayed in one long verse.
Everything made perfect sense.
Colors unknown came to sight,
unheard sounds assailed my touch
Untried thoughts tasted with each bite.
Senses flooded with too much.
Loved ones passed all waved hello
unborn descendants bowed to me
as lack of light still cast its glow
illuminating future history.
I saw planets bloom and black holes die;
strange life evolve, stagnate and end
while time stood still and seemed to fly.
I saw granitic waves crash by and bend.
And there were so many things
seen but somehow not perceived;
dimensional starts, ghosts' passings;
faiths formed, realities unbelieved.
Then in this stew of such input
a continuous flicker of pale green
leading me to intuit
the point source was of love unseen.
Then intruded spaced out beeps
which propelled me back to here
where time still advances in creeps.
Where dwells my anchor held so dear.
Comments
Nature Mithya
Tue, 2018-05-08 01:51
Hope
Lovely thoughts with a heavenly view of the universe as one goes through the black hole to be born anew!
Like the way you lead your thoughts to flow with words that end with a great punch we believe could be the reality behind our existence!
scribbler
Tue, 2018-05-08 15:20
greetings
always nice to see somebody new come by. Sorry for late response. I'm recouping from major surgery and pain + pain meds keep me away from key board a lot. I appreciate you dropping by with such kind comment.......stan
tyro
Tue, 2018-05-08 06:44
A very enjoyable read, I
A very enjoyable read, I especially liked it metaphysical qualities.
the only bump I encountered was this line "Senses flooded with too much" which , for me, stop everything too abruptly, as I found myself expecting a word to follow, not a full stop.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
scribbler
Tue, 2018-05-08 15:22
Hi Tyro
A bit out of my usual bounds ain't it? lol. I'll work on the line you refer to after a while when meds let me think more clearly. Thanks for the honest and visit........stan
Geezer
Tue, 2018-05-08 15:48
Yes...
it does seem a little out of bounds for you, but I still see the same Scribbler shining through.
As usual, there are places where your scansion sucks, but I really didn't mind, because you took me on a great trip! Guess them meds must be working pretty good! Lol. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Tue, 2018-05-08 20:27
So....
Now you're saying I should write when hight? (just kidding lol). I'll go back in a month or so when mind is clearer and see about cleaning up what poetry I post while still medicated.....stan
gregwa8
Mon, 2018-05-14 00:21
I like the abab rhyme scheme.
I like the abab rhyme scheme. I want to see what you saw myself! :) "leading me to intuit the point source was love unseen" -- reminds me of Milton's paradise books!
scribbler
Mon, 2018-05-14 12:02
greetings
Welcome to neopoet. I use the abab scheme a good bit. It allows me to maintain rhyme without it coming out as sing song.......stan
Seren
Wed, 2018-05-23 16:35
Oh My !!
See this is what I've missed. This is a spectacular poem Bro.
I can see anything that needs changing but its 6am I've been up all night I will return when I've had a little rest.
Sigh one of my fav topics in poetry so glad i chose well. Btw I have a poem with the same name. Very different content though. Dont think I've posted it here. I'll have to dig it out
Love and bigs hugs J xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Wed, 2018-05-23 17:56
Hi Sis
Always good to see you . And especially now as I recover from knee replacement surgery. Seeing a smiling familiar face give the day a boost. I'm pleased you like this as I hold your talent in high esteem. Now get to bed or failing that get to sleep lol
Seren
Thu, 2018-05-24 01:54
Hey Bro
Hope the surgery went well ans your on the mend, glad i could bring a smile, this is excellently crafted poem. I cant pick a fav stanza or line they all blend to make up a brilliant poem. I got an hour or so sleep and for me thats winning. After i severed my fingers last year it was hard learning to use the opposite hand. Hence my not writing much.
Take care of thst knee. I will see you again soon
Love Sis xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Thu, 2018-05-24 17:33
Guess
we are just a couple of on-the-mend scribblers lol. I hope your fingers are not giving you too much ghost pain. My knee is getting better but I'm still months away from walking normally. (Of course being outside normality myself maybe the present gait IS normal lmao.......stan