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In the Beginning
Again we meet
in the shadow
of death and dawn,
savouring
this last shared
breath, tasting,
tomorrow
So it begins
and.ends, in that
first gasp of light...
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
lovedly
Fri, 2014-08-29 17:19
let me begin
by being the dawn
to wish you well
this bright morn
as you surface
from bygones
let them go
as you know
tomorrow comes
but some won't know
you are the rising star
showing the zenith from far
all await your up-rise
and
I your smiles
unforgotten
Loved!
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 08:58
Dear Loved
I don't dwell on things so much these days and I take it one day at a time
life will bring what life will bring and one way or another I always seem
to get through the mire of shit I sometimes wade through
thanks for reading this is pretty much done I have no plans for edits at this stage
maybe later on with a set of fresh eyes
much love Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Fri, 2014-08-29 19:28
Jayne
We could not reach you as you lay ill, yet the children told us not to worry.
This piece is good, so now we are through the other side of maybe, it is time to play again, but slowly.
Great to have you back and I look forward to reading more of your writes, Yours as always Ian xx
PS:- feels like we burnt the food, so we have to clear it all up and start again lol.
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:00
Dearest Friend
Its been a long few months and I am glad its nearly over
I am hoping Friday to get my stitches out as I have about
forty or so that they have to remove
I am so NOT looking forward to that lol
thanks for reading I thought this was a good way to return
something simple and easily understood by all
much love always Jayne xxxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Sat, 2014-08-30 01:33
Jayne
Good to see you getting back again and posting poems in your inimitable style. More often than not they make me read them more than once.
Be well..Much love and hugs...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:02
Dearest Raj
Thank you for the welcome back seems like I have something wrong with me one way or another these last nine months, I am slowly coming good I felt really good last weekend and expected to come back earlier in the week but I put the cart before the horse as I sometimes do lol
thanks for reading I appreciate it very much
love and hugs Jayne xxxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
mand
Sat, 2014-08-30 01:42
Hi Jane
Lovely! Both the poem and seeing you back! Looking forward to seeing more! Hope you your feeling better. :)
Love Mand xxxxxxx
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:05
Heya mand
Thank you I am so happy you liked this one, its one I wrote in recovery I was in there for twelve hours lol I had to do something to fill the time lol.. I am slowly healing its taking a little longer this time round
much love big hugs Jayne xxxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
eightmenout
Sat, 2014-08-30 06:20
Jayne
A lot said in a few words. And it's great. Hope you're back for a while.
Scott
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:14
Hi Scott
I will be around a lot more as time permits with healing etc, it only been in the last few days I can stay up for any length of time before I was getting tired lol I have a lot of sleep to catch up on, it was two operations in one week knocked me on my ass but I am doing much better now, I have to have rehab and in the middle of all that I am going away on a holiday but I will be able to show you guys where I am and what I am seeing with the poems I most definitely be posting lol
thanks for the welcome back hun its much appreciated
much love Jayne xxxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
wesley snow
Sat, 2014-08-30 15:11
I enthusiatically
agree with everyone's comments.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:15
Thanks Wesley
big smiles, I am Very happy you liked it hun
love Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
weirdelf
Sun, 2014-08-31 12:59
Fine work
I look forward to more.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:17
Thanks Jess
Very happy you liked it hun, hope life's treating you well, OooOOoOooo btw I am going to Fleury's exhibition at the end of next week, be good if you had time to come too ;) meet you both ?
love Jayne xxxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lonnie
Wed, 2014-09-03 09:57
Jayne
Sorry to be late on this one, nor do I have much to add except that it was a good read, as are most of yours, and I offer my kudos, such as they are! Hope everything is going well with you and that you enjoy your day down under!
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 10:37
Thanks Lonnie
This is really a little bit of morphine and a lot of anesthetic I was in recovery for quite some time so I borrowed a pen and paper off the nurse lol I have a lot of other poems I am working on but I will have to get to them when my health and time allows
much love to you both Jayne xx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats