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B o t t l e n e x
slender ruins
and bitter whisps
beneath the wind whipped
ghosts
the pure folded heart
of magic
lays sleeping
as a heart
tender beat
to forgotten
sparks
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Mon, 2013-06-24 18:39
Steve
This reminded me of the bits that some drug takers use to smoke with, if so a well developed vision of not only the effect, but the affected,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Esker
Tue, 2013-06-25 12:35
With abstraction......
there is a freedom given to the thinker the observer to watch and create
within and from without in a free flowing association..
with the more regimented form of work its all laid out
which there is nothing wrong...(Poetry or life)
and somehow I tend to be drawn to the free thinking...
I like your take on this Ian
from your comment to reading it again
it indeed falls within much of this
avenue of thought..
Bravo and thank you for the comment!
lonlyhrtsclub13
Tue, 2013-06-25 13:42
Good write
Left me with the vision of perhaps a lost soul, someone who had been forgotten about. This someone still has spark left in them but lays sleeping as no one seems to realize they exist. I really enjoy poetry that allows me to use my imagination and draw my conclusions from the visuals I get. Good job!!!
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Esker
Wed, 2013-06-26 17:19
Thanks Lonely...
enjoying your writes..
I read poe and love king
Lovecraft was excellent too
as is others now in the modern genre
William Blake now fascinating me
from a very beautiful woman my age
intelligence and form
something of the lost values
in todays heady rush to just get
more more more
and
wear out long before their time..
I want mirages and dreams
I want scalpel minds
and surety hearts
Treasure Poets
Thank You!
lonlyhrtsclub13
Thu, 2013-06-27 08:54
I am glad
That you are enjoying my writes. I have a chat on the second and third Saturday nights from 9 to 10pm East Coast time if you are ever interested in stopping by. I will have to check out Lovecraft as I am not familiar with his/her work. I agree with you about the lost values of today. There is a peace I find in writing, as well as doing it for fun. It allows me to touch on things that I have buried deep inside. Again, glad you are enjoying my writes and hope to hear more from you!!! All comments are appreciated.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Geezer
Tue, 2013-06-25 20:10
This is...
my take on this one!
Slender ruins
and bitter wisps
beneath the wind whipped
ghosts
The pure folded heart
of magic
lies sleeping
as a spell
tender beat
and forgotten
sparks
I changed the word [heart] to spell, to avoid the repetition of heart
also removed the letter [ h] in whisp. ~ Gee
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