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Part 2 of a truly offensive poem, for Rhiannon
I'll take Rhiannon's lead and do a limerick
The poet was truly appalling
his peers broke his legs now he's crawling
they ripped out his tongue
and then it was flung,
to the fishes who gave it a mauling
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sun, 2011-11-20 12:20
Hey Jess,
I couldn't write a limerick to save my life. I think it takes a special skill to do so and to have make it appealing. You have done well with this poetic art form. I like it!
p.s.
Have you ever considered heading up a workshop to instruct and educate poets how to critique? I would attend that workshop if you would have me. My critiquing skills are poor and I could use the education and I'm sure many others could, too.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
weirdelf
Sun, 2011-11-20 16:00
Where have you been cat?
My first workshop was on critique and so is the current one. I will do more.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
pleiades
Sun, 2011-11-20 17:48
as i said to rhiannon, i have
as i said to rhiannon, i have
a soft spot for a well writ limerick
i think that soft spot comes from my childhood
my grandmother knew a slew of them, and was
always reciting them
a suggestion; perhaps the second line
could begin with "so" instead of "his"?
for me, just seemed a better fit
cheers
p
weirdelf
Sun, 2011-11-20 21:14
good suggestion
but it would break the scansion, perhaps a comma at the end of the first line.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
pleiades
Mon, 2011-11-21 00:07
perhaps i wasn't clear enough
perhaps i wasn't clear enough
i meant "so" in place of "his", so the line
would read;
"so peers broke his legs........"
that, i think, doesn't alter the scansion (does it? i'm not too au fait with scansion)
cheers
p
Rhiannon1010
Sun, 2011-11-20 21:24
ummm please dont beat me.
But I really have to ask, what is scansion?
weirdelf
Sun, 2011-11-20 21:30
scansion is the scanning of meter in a poem
it is terribly important in limericks. Have a quick squiz at my blog
http://new.neopoet.com/weirdelf/blog/mon-2011-08-15-2353
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry