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Crazy Me
There isn’t much going on tonight
that I find joyous in life
complexity surrounds my every thought
blocking my paths to problems resolve
There’s no fun in striving for success
when believing in fairness is dumb
never demonstrating justice
with all the faith in the world uttered
I got a lot of work to do
here at Neopoet and school
I’m about to flip my lid releasing hot steam
trying to get A’s in these fall lessons
But then, it’s always that way
with one year left to graduate
holding certificates and a degree in technology
with no paying job prospect
Why, because I am too odd
for most to follow
and too confused for some deal
being a loner is where I am most cheered
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Roscoe Lane
Fri, 2011-11-18 01:01
Not odd,
Not odd, who's to say the rest of the world isn't odd, you are who you are in this world. And if you hold a degree and can write poetry like this, then you've achieved more than i academically. Always remember you have done this and raised children, so if you feel odd then here's to odd i want some. Nice poem Regards Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
wesley snow
Fri, 2011-11-18 22:04
No, not odd.
After reading some of your comments lately, I would say that "odd" is quite inappropriate. In flux, maybe, but not odd.
This poem seems to be more of a statement of intent than strictly poetry. It made me sad, so I guess it qualifies as a poem because it successfully struck an emotional chord with me.
Did you read much of the discussion in the workshop concerning punctuation? What are your thoughts concerning it? You're one of the many who don't use it and I'm still trying to figure out why. I am a punctuation junkie.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Barbara Writes
Sat, 2011-11-19 01:10
Punctuation
Yes I have read the discussions in the workshop, But in my personal view some of the poem of the famous and not so famous have too many punct. Making the poem hard for me too follow the flow.
But then again I like using punct also to make certain meaning stand out in each stanza, but not too many as I've said in the shark pool
I have not read much of your poetry. since you are a punctuation junkie I will read some tonight too see. True, I don't used much Punct, but do use some.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Sat, 2011-11-19 11:33
I would be honored.
Be careful getting lost in the long stuff. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2011-11-19 13:28
I tried reading the long stuff, it made me crazy to attempt (:-)
will look for shorter versions of yours.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community