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Because There Is No Laughter
Because there is no laughter
in the morning,
the flowers wake up late
or not at all,
my milk is sour
and all the bread is stale.
My smiles are only memories,
I wear a rainy day,
my crown's a thick gray cloud
and my spirit is the cold.
My pain is like the evening light,
beautiful, tragic
and crimson everywhere,
another still-born poem.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I'm having problems with the title. Any good ideas?
Editing stage:
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Comments
alidzain
Wed, 2014-02-05 21:44
Thanks
thanks for the lovely imagery poem. Nicely done..
Alid
William Saint George
Tue, 2014-02-11 10:19
You're welcome :)
You're welcome :)
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
raj
Wed, 2014-02-05 22:29
Williams
Liked to read the similes used by you to relate various moods. A nice crisp poem, a pleasure to read it as almost always is the experience while reading your posts...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
William Saint George
Tue, 2014-02-11 10:20
Thanks Raj
Thanks Raj
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Seren
Thu, 2014-02-06 09:28
Wow
William I felt like a cloak of sorrow was being draped around me as I read your poem,
This is a cracking good poem, I don't have anything to suggest
I will say, Bravo :)
love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
William Saint George
Tue, 2014-02-11 10:20
Thanks for liking this. It
Thanks for liking this. It was sadness that I had been reflecting on.
.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/