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A Kiss In A Dream
Her lips were red and occupied with giggles,
so I planted a wet one on her cheeks.
She said I was a coward,
so I kissed her on her lips to prove
I was a man.
I kissed her in a dream,
and sent her packing all the way back home,
just before sunrise.
She thought I lied,
she said I made it up.
but I did, I said,
for all my dreams are lies, you see?
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
a true story.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Wed, 2013-11-13 07:05
W St G
Well don't know whether you are coming or going on this one.
Very interesting to throughout,
you may awake to reality one grand morning and think it but a dream,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
William Saint George
Wed, 2013-11-13 09:15
I'm glad
you got the point of this poem. It is about dreams. Thanks for enjoying it. :)
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Seren
Wed, 2013-11-13 07:39
Hello
What can I say this one had a twist I really liked it, I cant see that I can offer anything in the way of crit, you've got it all here, well done
regards Jayne-Chloe
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
William Saint George
Wed, 2013-11-13 09:16
Thanks for dropping by again!
Thanks for dropping by again!! :)
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
loved
Wed, 2013-11-13 17:50
u kiss a poem... once in a way
u kiss a poem... once in a way
that too in a dream
and doubt your own manliness
You kiss a poem... once in a way
I kiss all over
anyone
but kisses me
just no one
so daily I compose
A KISS POEM!
It satisfies my inner urge
as desire
from inside does surge...
Where are they
who kissed me one day,
now they my love and kisses betray
have they forgotten the lips given
and those ones secretly taken
but then I was young
now old
sans teeth ...white ones
now unfold as dentures
so how would kiss me
anyone...
loved