Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Wish You Enough
Saying good-bye to a friend
can sometimes seem unfair,
one tries to express things
showing they really care.
So I’m tackling this task
even though it’s quite rough,
I won’t say, “good-bye”
but, I wish you enough.
I wish you enough sunlight
to lessen your pain,
and to enjoy the sun’s grace
I wish you enough rain;
I wish you enough happiness
so you’ll enjoy every mile,
with just enough sadness
to appreciate a smile;
to satisfy your “wants”
I wish you enough “gain”,
and I wish you enough, “hellos”
for when “good-byes” just remain;
we make friends in a minute,
within an hour, know they’re true,
so, it only took me a day
to know, I’ll never forget you !
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-03-16 14:23
Should second stanza read
one tries to express things
that shows that one cares?
Otherwise nice thoughts especially
to satisfy your “wants”
I wish you enough “gain”,
docmaverick
Sun, 2013-03-17 15:21
Soo happy, frenchy....
...this caught your keen eye. You're correct, you know. About the 2nd stanza, but I wanted not to have care be a plural, nes 'pa? I DID try to "fix it", though; what say you, now?
Thanx, again;
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
Lenny of Cohen
Sat, 2013-03-16 15:41
Hauntingly
brilliant write.
Absorbing.
Namaste,
Lenny
_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent
Wei Wu Wei
docmaverick
Sun, 2013-03-17 15:23
I really appreciate you, l of c....
...for your generous remarks. Made my day, sir.
Sincerely,
than, for that;
doc
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==