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Genie in a Bottle 1
My grief more than I know
Locked in my veins
Lashed out in my system
Makes me cry out in vain
At your disappearance
You left me all alone
In this dark cold world
To fight these hard core battles
At least, when you were here
I found comfort in a companion
Like a genie bottle
I would take you from the sill
Nigh my heart
Place you on my knobby knees
Log you on the internet
On days like these I miss you dearly
When my waning heart hurts
My frame drops beneath coping levels
In sadness I etched proses, stories, and play games
On your interface
Editing stage:
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Sat, 2012-02-18 10:36
I think this was good Barbara.
Has Jeannie anything particular to say,
otherwise it is a Geni,
not to detract from your decision to call it Jeannie.
"Nigh above my heart.........................Odd use of the word nigh, high perhaps?
Place you on my knobby knees"..........My father won second prize in a Knobbly knees contest at the local games in our village in 1947.:)
Maybe "and play games on the interface could be the last line, neatly.
I think this was good Barbara.
LuvAnn
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2012-02-18 12:28
thanks ann
i appreciate the suggestions and will be editing your suggestion in
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-02-19 06:17
OOO look at you
Barbara, look at you there in the hot sunshine
while I am in the shivering cold of the north,
the sun is shining and warms slightly,
but the wind is full if icy thoughts that cut.
We have a wee dog staying and went a walk today,
happy to be with us I think as we walk a lot, that's why we are so fit.
Thank you again Barbara, love Ann.
Like a geni, or the geni.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2012-02-19 14:59
yeah lol
i was cruising the carribbean on the carnival cruise ship november last year. it was nice and warm there.
went to st thomas, antuqua, tortola, and bahamas. love it
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Esker
Sun, 2012-02-19 08:53
Like that reference much Barbara
didnt know how the other half felt
about my taking leave when the system
of business just didnt work between
us anymore...I mourned that I had
no understanding....nothing that I wanted
when I thought, felt I was giving all the
time...missed the rare magic times
when we had laughter..intimacy...compassion
and that satisfaction of comfort around
each other till the tension tore it all away
and we went seperate ways..
Now I know..I see it here with an Ex I'm still
keeping.. We both are not on the same
line but we dead end sometimes at the
same terminal. Meeting much for chats
talks to sit on the bench and admire
sunsets. I see know the value of not being
like two peas in a pod. But I do see the
grieving too Laptop magic
Genie time how true this machine comforts
us lets us reach those still that we once
loved and were loved by
(whatever love is ..for all its different and intimate
in many ways of individuality)
great emotive poem!!
Thank You!
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2012-02-19 15:04
Esker
anytime you visit my poems. i feel special. your relation to what i write about in you comments always make me happy. glad to see you are back
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community