Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Hell
There reside many that live
In cold, dark, and dampness
Beneath the earth
Thus the eerie crawlers of the land
There’s a final domicile
Of countless departed
Asleep in amity
Thus the precious ones pending life
Hell is not to fear
A shared grave of folks
Where all are laid
Before the resurrection
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2011-07-07 01:05
Not my...
idea of Hell, but what do I know? I think I got the gist of the poem, but you don't make it clear, I think maybe that you have confused Limbo and Hell, although not knowing which way you are going, could be Hell. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2011-07-07 01:19
thanks Gee
i appreciate your comment and do under the confusion. I didn't want my idea of hell to be obvious in this poem.
but i did wanted to see how the reader would interpret it. therefore i see your interpretation is that of Limbo.
it not a right or wrong view just a view.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2011-07-07 23:40
Chrys
thanks i appreciate you bringing this to my attention. i have edited it and hope it sound much better
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
loved
Thu, 2011-07-07 22:47
i always thought ...Hell was above sea level
and heaven below
your poem depicts it otherwise
why is it so????
loved
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2011-07-07 23:51
hi
i have heard hell describe in different ways, but never that way
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
loved
Fri, 2011-07-08 00:18
thanks do read my latest poem
three ceees and 21 jun thanks
loved
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-07-08 03:39
Dark and ambiguous, worse, contradictory.
You don't give reasons and the final stanza is a cop-out, based on religion.
I would like to here you talk of self-made hells in the real world without religious contations, which detract from it's real, human existential power.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2011-07-08 09:54
thanks Jess
your comment is always welcome.give me a idea of your self made hell. then i will write one relating to me
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community