Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Senyus / Haikus
Senyu
Hurdlers scurry treetops
Stowing wintertime supply
two squirrels gather nuts
______________________
Haiku
Behind rain, lighting
Bright, reddish, stormy heavens
Awe an orange sun sets
_________________________
Haiku
Hung above snow clouds
Amidst rain, thunder, lighting
A rainbow paints skies
________________________
Senyu
Birds glide south, to rest
From strain, of winter famine
Depart, vacant nest
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Sun, 2011-07-03 23:23
Barbara
a good haiku/senryu (i could never figure out the difference) which created the picture for me,,,nice and smooth...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2011-07-04 00:08
Raj
Thanks ive been writing haiku for a while
I learn how to write and know the difference right here at neo
Never heard of either before neo
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
weirdelf
Mon, 2011-07-04 06:54
lovely!
Haiku/senryu don't have titles! they are the purist minimalism of poetry.
A couple of suggestions
Behind the rainstorm
Bright ruddy skies and dark clouds
the sun sets [eliminate the inessential to create an evocative ending]
Hung above snow clouds
Amidst rain, thunder, lighting
A rainbow paints westerns skies [sorry but horrible cliche, again, eliminate the inessential to create an evocative ending]
Western skies
or
oh, a rainbow
Just suggestions, I don't mean you to use my wording. In haiku less is always more.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2011-07-04 11:13
Jess
Thanks for the suggestions
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2011-07-05 00:45
Jess
thanks again for the suggestions. I been to a convention all weekend and now can focus on your suggestion. having your input is always nice
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-07-05 01:01
my please always,
my lady,
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry