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Epiphany
There came a lurch within my chest
when you put my car in gear
and eased us out from our driveway,
not because I feared your lack
of skill behind the wheel,
but because I looked at you
as you stopped us on the edge
of busy street and watched you
look, turn and accelerate
with the confidence that only comes
from being comfortable inside
one's skin,
and I knew then
the little girl I raised
has become a formidible woman,
filled with grace and beauty
few men will be unmoved by,
an ease of action,
an intelligence
and strength of purpose
others will always
try to emulate,
and these all tell me,
in your flashing grin
at seeing me watching you,
that I can pass
from your life now,
without the worry you
might be unsuccessful
and alone
How like your mother
you have become
in your womanhood,
how lovely and unique,
how strong.
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2011-05-30 20:00
Very touching
Wow, I know this feeling.
I have three girls, they range
from forty years old
to the youngest being twenty.
Each has made me proud
to be a father of three lovely girls
Beautiful write!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 04:33
Thanks man,
We were out last Saturday, she and I, I was teaching her how to drive on the expressway.
This resulted.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
wesley snow
Mon, 2011-05-30 22:33
A nice poem
This didn't blow me away, but then it likely was not intended to. The language was simple and honest, dealing with a moment in life I will never experience. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 04:35
Thanks Wesley.
Not intended to blow one away, just to capture that particular moment.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-05-31 05:40
"A gentle epiphany" might be a better title
The word epiphany implies a crucial, spiritual, life-changing realisation, where this is more a gentle acknowledgement.
I hope her mother wasn't pissed off by the last 3 lines
"and yet how unlike,
how lovely and unique,
how strong."
Kinda of implies that she isn't lovely, unique and strong.
Or was that a bit of a dig?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 05:47
Thanks Jess
LMAO
Took that line out - was part of the first write, not deleted when it should have been.
Wife didn't see that version, I'm happy to say!
"gentle" nah, too passive for me.
Thanks again
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Kailashana2
Tue, 2011-05-31 17:06
Close call, eh? ;-)
Close call, eh? ;-)
There are those moments that we know we know *something* and those of our loved ones who see us knowing that something we now kno . It's a dance and a smile of simple recognition, not easy to articulate.
You have done so, beautifully and with graceful subtlety.
~A
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:32
Thanks Anna
Yes, when it strikes it is powerful and satisfying.
Glad you like this one.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
scribbler
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:41
HUH!
Afraid of your wife!?! You should be more like me..........terrified lol.........stan
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:54
LOL
Aren't we all?
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
magics02
Tue, 2011-05-31 16:37
Race
I could not bring myself to comment on this the other day as I let it "Sit" with me for a while. I tell you it was heartfelt the love you have for your daughter and the things you mentioned are so much of how my father feels about me also. I like how this touched my soul and my very being and I know you must be an awesome father. I am not critiquing this for these are words only you can change.
Great writing
Spirit of you to you and your daughter - she is lucky to have a father like you
Ms Mona
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:33
Thanks Mona
For the kind words.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
faerybeki
Tue, 2011-05-31 17:22
A lovely touching write Jim,
A lovely touching write Jim, I thoroughly enjoyed it (all 3 times :) ) and how wonderful your daughter can be so comfortable in her skin :) down to how well loved she is no doubt ;) much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:49
Hi Beki
Thanks for your enjoyment!
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
scribbler
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:43
Hi
I have no daughters but well recall the feeling of first realizing my "boys" were now men. I find nothing to suggest changing...............stan
Race_9togo
Tue, 2011-05-31 22:53
Hey
Yeah, it follows with boys as well as girls, its just that with all her friends pregnant or in dead-end jobs or both or no job she works full time, goes to school, and doesn't want a kid until she's in her 30s, lol. A father's dream.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo