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Dark Road
Took a turn at the end of a dark road
Best place for my burdens to unload
Strangled my feelings until they died
Buried them way deep down inside
Pressure down on me until I am broken
Tortured by love words never spoken
Drowning in my own suffering pain
Burning me like a never-ending flame
Sacrificed my cold blood on the floor
For the love I have never felt before
In an empty dark, no heart can be found
Suffering through hurt with no sound
Silent eyes look on me with forebode
Made me take a turn onto a dark road
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-11-01 08:02
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-11-01 06:29
dear Depressed,
I have not read many poems with rhyming couplets (2 by 2 by 2 etc.) that are not choppy and clipped...yours is one of the few...great job. you get your ideas delivered in a plain and smooth function! very nice. by-the-way, your poem is quite relatable!! great job!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
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And reply in kind, thanks.
Depressed 1
Thu, 2023-11-02 04:37
Thanks
Thanks for reading and your comment.
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
Lavender
Wed, 2023-11-01 11:48
Dark Road
Hello, D1,
Your poetry is always straightforward with few words, but full of meaning and emotion. The rhythm is smooth and the rhyme is logical and not forced. I especially like the first and last lines, the way they parallel each other and wrap around the entire poem.
Thank you,
L
Depressed 1
Thu, 2023-11-02 04:38
Thanks
I appreciate the comment Lavender.
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
RoseBlack
Thu, 2023-11-02 07:46
Well done
The flow was smoothe and the rhyme was solid. Your poems always resonate with me. The reader can feel every emotion. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Depressed 1
Mon, 2023-11-06 01:25
Thanks
Thanks RoseBlack. Like I always say I write what I know.
https://www.artofelpaso.com/